You're killing me Smalls!!

Warning: What you are about to read is true and disgusting. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Recently, this boy was kept overnight at a hospital. As with all hospital stays, he was heavily monitored. He was pricked for blood, they checked his vitals every hour, and his urine levels were monitored.

Rewind just a couple weeks before said hospital trip. He was knee-deep in potty training. His poor mother thought that he was never going to get it figured out. But he turned a corner and finally understood what needed to be done on the porcelain throne.

Monitoring his urine levels turned out to be a pretty interesting thing for said boy. He laughed and giggled every time he had to go in the bottle. His mother didn't think much of it. As long as he was telling her before he went, all was fine her mind.

Now fast forward to today. The boy ran to the bathroom as he always does.  He doesn't know how to walk.  He runs everywhere.  He never stops, just runs and runs and runs.  Anywho, he made a mad dash to the bathroom.  His mother didn't think much of it.  As he usually tells her, "I can do it all by myself."

So his mother, kept on doing what she was doing, whatever that was.  But then, she heard a strange commotion coming from the bathroom.  She went in to investigate.  Sure enough the boy was in the middle of doing something very naughty.  It seems that instead of just using the potty as normal he decided to shake things up a bit.  He was found standing (without his undies) on the bathroom counter with his sister's cup in hand.  And you can put the rest of the story together.  Yep, the little stinker decided that his urine levels needed to be monitored.  He finished his business in the cup and his mother took the cup away to be burned. 

Oh heck, if you haven't figured it out his mother is me.  I am not proud of this story nor am I proud that my son knows how to do his own urine sample.  But, it is one of those things that I will remember forever.  And I will tell his girlfriend, his fellow classmates, and really anybody who wants to listen.  Yes, I believe my friends, that I have blackmail for this little guy.  I am sure that this will only be a drop in the cup (pun intended) to the remaining stupid things that he will do throughout his lifetime.  It is my job as his mother to not forget them and to embarrass the heck out of him when the moment arises.

The boy's mother,
Carrie