Today...

Today would have been my mother's birthday.  But she will forever be 37.  She has been gone far too long and I still miss her like crazy.

There are so many times that I think and wonder how things would have been had she won her fight with cancer.  Would she have nursed the black kitty that got stuck in Grandma's car motor back to health?  Would she still like those darn lava rocks that were in her flower bed?  Would she have laughed hysterically with us when the GPS told us to make a "legal u-turn"?   Would she have gone prom dress shopping with me?  What would she have worn to my wedding? 

While there are so many things that I think and wonder about, the one thing that I want so badly is that she would have had the privilege of meeting and knowing her grandchildren.  I think they are great and I know that she would have been an amazing grandmother.  She always had this energy about her.  A get-up-and-go type.  She was so loving and a great encourager.  I know without a doubt that both of my kids would have had a special relationship with her. 

While I wonder how things would have been had my mother survived, I know how things ended up without her.

A couple of years after my mother passed away my dad married a wonderful woman.  Her name is Sparky.  Ok, that is not her real name, it's her nickname.  But only her immediate family calls her by her real name.  She is known as Sparky to everyone else but me and my brother.  To us, she is Mom. 

She jumped right into our crazy family.  She nursed the poor black kitty back to health.  His official name is Buster, but we call him Booboo.  He is a huge fat black cat with sinus problems that gets to share the bed with them.  Often times, sneezing in their faces...he is spoiled...rotten. 

The lava rocks had to go.  Weeds grew up in the rocks thus making it a horrible process to weed the flower bed.

We did laugh hysterically at the GPS on that family vacation.  Our family vacations always had some memorable event happen...think Griswold family vacations.  Derek was asked by someone if they could blow their nose on his Dallas Cowboys hat.  Dad pulled over on the side of the road and walked back to the sign to see what it said.  He then proceeded to drive across the median because he had missed his exit.  We got lost in downtown Georgetown...at night.  Derek was chastised by the lady in the next booth because he wouldn't sit still at dinner.  And I would always order something light off of the menu because I really wasn't that hungry.  But then proceed to eat almost all of Mom's meal.  I could go on and on and on...

Mom did take me prom dress shopping.  It was one of those hole-in-the-wall places with a TON of dresses piled in there.  She was patient with me and she let me get what I wanted.  She also took me wedding dress shopping.  We had so much fun.  She wore a beautiful red top with a long black skirt in my wedding.  She looked lovely.

And she does have a pretty special relationship with both of my children.  My daughter and her love to ride horses.  I am pretty sure they could be lost in the middle of nowhere and as long as they were on their horses they wouldn't have a care in the world.  She lets my son be his wild and crazy self.  She plays cars with him and will get down on the floor with him to play.  She does a great job at being a grandma, but is also very good about not stepping on our parenting toes.  She asks if it is ok to do certain things with the kids before she jumps in and does it.

I will never understand why God decided to bring my mama home with him when I was just a young girl.  I do really miss her and I would love to have her with us still.  But I am also fairly certain that our paths wouldn't have crossed with Sparky's.  So to that I am thankful.  Thankful that Mom's suffering on earth was done.  Thankful that she is now with God.  Thankful that she will be able to meet and love on her grandchildren one day in eternity.  But also thankful that Sparky came into our lives.  Thankful that she was and will always be known to my brother and me as Mom.  Thankful that she put up with me.  Thankful that she still puts up with me.  And thankful that she loves me, my husband, and my children as only a mother knows how.

Thanks for stopping by,
Carrie